I Go to Museums to People Watch

Maybe its just a matter of poor attention span on my part, but almost every time I go to look at art I up getting distracted by and then locked in on the actions of the cast and characters inhabiting the show. Im not one for stereotypes, but here are a couple bullet proof ones for ya.

The casual fan - found out about the show and had a Saturday free. These people keep to themselves, look uncomfortable in an art setting and can often be seen chuckling to one another in dismay. They may utter the classic "I don't get this one."

The unwarranted free lance photographer - decides to temporarily block everyones view to take professional documentation that neither the artist nor public will ever ask to see. This person may seem like they are just doing their job but, nope. Now this one does not cover those capturing the piece for their snapstory; this is the one with the obnoxiously large camera and zoom lens even though all pics will be within six feet of the work.

The old heads - may go unnoticed to the untrained eye. These people are academics, successful artists themselves or critics. They are actually involved in the art community and often visit shows in three to four person groups. Often they approach a piece turn and whisper to each other a story about the good old days or even make a remark pertaining to their personal experiences with the artist shown.

The overachiever - If in my presence a stern shaking of my head will give away this persons presence. There are generally two variations in this instance. There is the young artist dressed to standout and bring attention to the life changing experience he or she is having as a result of the work. Then the person with a somewhat "creative job" whom cannot resist talking about the work. However it is rare that this person understands the work which results in the exclamation of how tough the process exhibited is and how they tried it one time and WOW! Thats impressive.

Don't be one of these. Be somewhere in between. Except the camera guy; don't ever be that guy. Ignore the unwritten rule of reverence that linger around the show. If you're looking at a piece and another person approaches, don't nod and quickly get out of their way. Stay right in front as long as you please. Have conversations at normal volumes; whispering is for lames. Your goal should be getting scolded ever security guard in there. Be so engaged with the work that they have to tell you to take a step back. Just know if you are one of these caricatures someone may see and write about you online.